


All The Rowboats

by Janecat



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-10-17
Packaged: 2018-02-16 22:50:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2287373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janecat/pseuds/Janecat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His plan wasn’t to stay here long, it wasn’t safe, he just needed a place to hide if only for a few minutes. He’d only been able to grab his bag when he ran, his food supply was running low and it could take weeks to stumble on another camp. Jason freezes when he reaches the top floor, warm air suddenly brushing past his face.</p><p> An open window.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jason can barely keep his footing as he runs, more like slides, through the sewer. The cars rushing by above are still not loud enough to drown out the screams of those who weren’t fast enough. He knew the small refugee camp wouldn’t last, he defended it as best he could from the Controllers but there were too many. Once Jason’s far enough he pushes open a curbside grate, incredibly thankful for the empty street above him. Jason ducks into a nearby alley, jumping on top of a dumpster then climbing up a fire escape. 

His plan wasn’t to stay here long, it wasn’t safe, he just needed a place to hide if only for a few minutes. He’d only been able to grab his bag when he ran, his food supply was running low and it could take weeks to stumble on another camp. Jason freezes when he reaches the top floor, warm air suddenly brushing past his face.

An open window.

Androids didn’t need heat. While he and the other humans were wrapping themselves in every scrap they could find this winter the androids and synthetics were running around like it was summer. It could be disastrous running in without a plan but the heat was too tempting and months of shivering himself to sleep had taken its toll.

The apartment walls were painted a dull blue grey, the furniture decorating the space nearly just as plain. The place looked empty, maybe the owners simply forgot that they had left the window open in the first place. He smiles to himself and walks into the kitchen, whoever they were they wouldn’t notice if a few things went missing.

Or nothing. Every single cupboard is bare and there’s no fridge. The room looks untouched. 

“If you’re carrying any weapons you better drop them, I’ve already called the police.”

Jason inwardly curses himself and holds up his hands, slowly turning on the spot. The man in front of him stands wearing blue silk pajamas, his skin looks flawless and soft. He looks perfect. And that’s the problem. He’s synthetic. 

“I don’t have anything. Really, I was just hoping you might have some food.” he says staring into the synthetic man’s bright blue eyes that shine even in the low light they’re in.

“Wouldn’t be much of a concern if you turned yourself in.”

“How’s not feeling anything working out for you?” he spits back. In truth, he’s thought over and over about the idea of turning himself in to the Controllers to be taken away… to become “perfect”. For one minute it sounds glamourous and then he realizes everything he’d lose.

“Who says we don’t?”

“With the way you and the androids reprogram “problematic humans” I wouldn’t really classify you guys as sweet and kind.”

The synthetic is silent a moment, letting out a sigh he really doesn’t need to, “I didn’t actually call the police.”

“You didn’t?” Jason says, confused.

“Not yet, but I will. You can rest for an hour or two but after that I’m calling them.”

Jason watches the other walk out of the room leaving him alone, it’s completely bizarre. He’s never met a non human that wasn’t attempting to chase after him or threatening to reprogram him. Cautiously he steps out of the kitchen and takes a seat on the sofa in the living room, the pillows are stiff giving no comfort on his tired limbs. It’s still warm though, and that’s more than anything Jason had been expecting on this awful night. He might only have an hour before he’s back to running, and soon enough starving, but he can have this moment of quiet and peace. He stares up at the ceiling in silence, maybe if he tries hard enough he can hold on to this warmth in the days ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

Dick never wanted to believe this could happen to him but knew the possibility was always there. Humans, Organics as the Controllers and androids liked to call them, were in the minority now. Groups of them took shelter wherever they could find it but their pursuers were catching on to their patterns and raids became more and more common. He had fought hard to protect his group when the Controllers came, grabbing their attention while the others could flee. The few that stayed were captured along with him, though Dick had no idea where they were now. 

He had caused another commotion while being transported to the conversion facility, breaking free from his confinements and taking out one Controller before being thrown down by another. He now sported a throbbing broken arm and an array of bruises that ached from head to toe. When they arrived he was quickly stripped and thrown into a small cell, it’s contents only a thin mattress that smelled of stale sweat. Dick shouted and pounded in the door with his good arm but it was pointless, it was the end of the line. He was going to be converted.

He laid back on the mattress staring at the ceiling and finding it hard to breathe, whether from bruised ribs or a racing mind he wasn’t sure.

"I got scared sometimes." he whispers into the air, "I mean not all the time just… those nights where we lost so many I wouldn’t be sure if what we were doing mattered. Maybe I was more scared for them than anything else…"

Someone’s screaming down the hall and Dick tries to swallow down the heaviness rising up his throat. 

"They don’t treat rebels the same way they did volunteers, complete memory wipe. They’d lose everything and I couldn’t save them. I guess…" he shuts his now watering eyes, "I hope you’re not scared for me, you’ve got enough to worry about. I’ll find you again, I know I will."

A few hours pass before the cell door slides open and a guard holding an electric prod steps in. He’s barely standing when he’s slammed face first into the wall, his arms are pulled painfully tight behind his back and he can’t stop the scream that rips from him at his broken arm. The guard drags him out into the hallway by the hair and a small jolt of electricity runs up his spine causing a sharp intake of breath.

"Move." the Controller says.

He stays still, “Fuck you, I’d rather **die.** ”

The shock isn’t so light this time and he’s on the floor gasping.

"But you won’t."

Dick’s sleep cycle ends and he wakes feeling a bit strange, the feeling is quickly solved when he steps out of his bedroom and spots the human from last night sleeping on his sofa. He had warned him that he would call the police, Dick had even sat around his room for the whole two hours inwardly debating the subject and found he couldn’t. He wasn’t sure why but he just couldn’t. 

Silently, Dick grabs his coat and leaves the apartment. Articles and searches quickly flow through his mind as he interprets and files them away. A small smile passes his face as an idea sparks and he hopes the human will still be there when he returns.

The first thing Jason senses when he stretches awake is the smell of food, warm and comforting. He almost forgets where he is or how much time has passed until he fully opens his eyes and sees the dull blue grey walls surrounding him. Last night he was running through the sewers escaping the Controllers and landed himself in the apartment of a synthetic. A synthetic who was supposed to have called the police on him hours ago. So where was he?

A few cautious steps later he stands in the doorway watching the synthetic man make pancakes. There are four tall stacks going from blackened and burnt to a what a normal shade of the breakfast food would look like. 

“What’re you doing?” Jason finally asks.

“I learned how to cook this morning.” The synthetic states, “More specifically, pancakes. I burnt the first dozen, timing seems more of an estimate rather than exact.” 

“But why?”

“Because humans eat food and you’re human, so I made food.”

Jason glances around making sure that he isn’t sleeping or that this all isn’t some trick, “I thought you were gonna turn me in.”

The synthetic looks up at him for a moment then back to his work, “I changed my mind.”

“Surprised you can do that.” he mutters without thinking.

“We do have minds, we’re not just walking toasters. I think. And I decided to allow you to stay if you’d like.”

“Stay? As in stay here, with you?”

“If you’d like.”

Jason steps forward, “I just crawled in through your fucking window! I could-”

“My name is Dick, by the way.”

“You can’t be serious.” he says, his stomach giving a loud growl as he eyes the stacks of pancakes.

“Don’t you have a name?”

“…It’s Jason.” Maybe he’ll have one pancake, then he can go.

“Well Jason, you should wash up before you eat. The first chapter talked about sanitation and the dangers of bacteria.”

“I lived in a sewer for a month. I’m pretty sure my hands are the least of my worries.”

“Oh.” Dick says, and Jason can almost hear the gears in his mind whirring. “I’ll draw you a bath then."


	3. Chapter 3

It feels wrong to him. Jason waking up in a comfortable warm bed while others still lived in the sewers. Yet he can’t make himself throw off the sheets and stomp out. He hasn’t had this in a long time and giving it up feels nearly as wrong as being there. Jason sits up and pops his spine with a twist, maybe Dick is still in his sleep cycle and he can sneak out to clear his head. 

Jason sighs and falls back on the bed with a soft thud, “He’s a robot, they don’t feel anything. He’ll turn you in the minute you do something he deems as bad.”

He showers, another indulgence, and steps out into the main room. It’s silent, the bare walls adding to stillness of the apartment. Most synthetics and androids live like kings and queens, why does this one live so simply? He had only gotten a bed because of Jason. The synthetic had bought food and dishes simply for him. The front door opens and Dick walks in carrying two large brightly colored bags.

“I see you’ve woken up.” Dick puts on a smile, “I noticed you only had one change of clothes so I took it upon myself to buy you some new things.”

“You bought me clothes?”

“And more food this morning.”

Jason crosses his arms, “Look, I’m grateful for all this but I can’t accept it. I really should be going back to where I came from.”

“But you can’t.” He says quickly.“You- should have breakfast first.”

He eyes the synthetic a moment before nodding his head, “Alright, just a meal.”

Dick beams at him and hands him a bag, “You should change.”

“Dick-”

“So I can wash your old ones in the meantime.” he adds.

Jason gives a defeated sigh, takes the bag and walks back to his room. He throws on a clean change of boxers and pants then fishes around for a shirt. When he sees his two choices he wonders if he’s better off just not wearing a shirt at all. Electric blue or hot pink with the words, “Plastic Heart Club” scrawled in the opposite colors. The scent of bacon wafts in and he decides on the blue shirt and heads out to the kitchen.

“You could’ve picked something more… neutral, or do you all enjoy being made out of tubes and wires?” he pulls at his shirt.

Dick frowns slightly, “ I don’t see why living lifetimes past the human is a bad thing, plastic or not. Besides those shirts are their most popular item, and I’ve read that bright colors bring happiness to humans.”

“Isn’t reading about humans off limits to you guys?”

“No, it’s just counted as useless knowledge, but I’m finding it fascinating. You’re all very complex.”

His plate is filled with bacon, eggs and hashbrowns. Dick’s plate is empty, the utensils lying beside it are fresh out of the package. It looks sterile.

“I thought Synthetics could eat.”

“We can,” he answers, “but we don’t process it like you. It’s more of a luxury commodity than a necessity.”

He picks up his plates and portions off a small sampling of his breakfast onto Dick’s empty one. 

“Looks weird if you’re not eating anything with me.” he says and Dick smiles.

The washing machine spins with his old clothing inside and Jason knows he could leave now. He doesn’t need them, they’re practically in tatters as it is, so what’s keeping him here? He hears the clinking of dishes being washed and thinks of Dick. He only ever saw synthetics as wasteful harsh beings, but this one, he’s different. All of that shouldn’t matter to him however, there could be survivors from his group out there who need him and he’s here eating warm meals while their starving.

He walks into the kitchen and addresses Dick, “I have to leave, thank you for all of this but I can’t stay.”

Dick’s eyes widen, “But you can’t leave!”

Jason’s eyes narrow, “Why?”

“You’re not… You’re not well, Jason.”

“The hell are you talking about?” his head tilts, confused.

“My eyes, I can scan your vital signs and- they seem irregular to what I’ve read about healthy humans.”

“You scanned me? You didn’t even ask my permission!”

“You were asleep.”

“And that makes it ok?! I’m leaving.” Jason marches towards the living room.

Dick grabs Jason’s wrist, “No, please! …I just want to help.”

“I don’t need help, especially from a synthetic. Humans are worth less than dogs to you.” 

He tugs his hand away and walks past Dick back into his bedroom to the window that leads out to the fire escape. Dick runs ahead blocking the window.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. Please don’t leave.” 

It’s strange. The way Dick is looking at him. There’s actual worry in his eyes, it looks… human. It’s been a long time since anyone’s looked at him like that. There’s so much terror in his world that everyone’s out to save their own skins there is no time to care. It makes him pause. It makes Jason want to stay, he shakes his head and glares at Dick.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you give a shit. Move away so I can go.”

“I won’t.” Dick stands straighter.

Jason balls his fists, “Let me go.”

“You’re ill. I can help you.”

“Move.” he growls.

Dick’s face falters, he looks down and steps to the side. Jason undoes the latch of the window and crawls out onto the fire escape.

“You can come back whenever you want. I’ll be here.” his voice is soft and sad. It confuses Jason even more. 

He nods, though he doesn’t know why, and descends the staircase. Dick’s shining blue eyes filled with worry burn into his memory. Maybe if he runs fast enough he can forget all of this. Humans and synthetics don’t belong together and no matter what he might feel, he is not the exception.


	4. Chapter 4

Humans were dangerous and not to be trusted, their only thoughts are of destruction of the paradise the androids had given them. The procedure was to call the Controllers to take the human in for questioning and/or conversion. That was what Dick was supposed to do and he knew that. So why couldn’t he bring himself to follow those rules when a human snuck into his apartment?

He wanted to think up excuses, that perhaps he had short circuited but in all honesty Jason fascinated him. Never having met a human in memory he expected a violent outburst but instead he got a rain soaked male practically begging for shelter. Jason’s very presence would change Dick’s dull existence completely. His entire sleep cycle was filled with thoughts about humans. Their lifespans, what they ate, their bathing habits, anything he could search for that wasn’t locked away or would spring up red flags. By morning he felt excited to test his new knowledge. That was the key thing, he felt, it was something he knew he was capable of but hadn’t truly experienced since his reawakening. 

Things hadn’t gone the way he had hoped the rift between humans and synthetics too large. Despite his best attempts to placate Jason, he left. Dick promised to wait though he didn’t really expect to see him again. Yet there he sat every night staring out the window hoping to see something. He never realized how much rain fell on Gotham, how grey the skies really were amongst the bright neon signs. Was this how humans saw it? Did Jason leave because Dick was only a reminder of his inevitable conversion?

The rattle of trashcans in the alley below startled him out of his thoughts. He didn’t bother waiting, racing down the fire escape to find… nothing. Dick felt something else in that moment, something like a heavy weight pushing him to the ground perhaps never to get back up again. It was sadness, and it felt as though it would never end.

“I hope you don’t feel this when thinking of me.” It was the first time he had spoken since Jason’s leaving.

There was a quiet noise and a soft push at his leg distracting him once more. The creature was tiny and orange, it’s eyes were an almost glowing green. When it realized it had caught Dick’s attention it mewed further nuzzling it’s face against his shin.

He knelt down and took the kitten into his hands, “Hello.”

The cat was nice company, it renewed his desire for more knowledge on humans and it was nice to have someone to sit with while he waited each night. It seemed to enjoy him more than Jason did although they both put up quite a fight on taking a bath. Perhaps cats and humans were related in some way, he’d have to do more research.

“I would like it if you’d stay here with me.” he said petting the small animal during one of their late night vigils. “Cats can have quite long lifespans if properly cared for or so my reading says.”

The cat merely purred in response. Good enough.

It’s the middle of the day when the spare bedroom window cracks open and the sound of heavy boots echo down the hallway. The mixing bowl in his hands drop at the sight of Jason standing at the kitchen threshold, whatever recipe he was perfecting now long forgotten. Dick rushes forward looking expectantly up at Jason whose face reads as calm but his demeanor seems anxious. 

“Are you hurt?”

“No.” He shakes his head.

“Then what’s happened? Are you staying?”

Jason glances away, “I need help. A friend of mine is injured and we don’t have the supplies needed to take care of them and the others. I thought maybe-”

“So you didn’t come to see me.” Dick mutters.

Jason makes him feel. He only wishes it wasn’t so painful.

“I… I have to protect the others that are left.”

“Then you want me to disobey the laws and risk being reprogrammed to help humans like you who are too stubborn to be converted?”

“Yes.” He crosses his arms.

“Even though conversion eradicates all illness? The very thing you need help in.”

“You were human once.”

“So? I don’t remember any of it.”

“I bet you do, otherwise you wouldn’t have taken me in.”

“I don’t remember.” He asserts.

A cold damp prison cell. The pain of an untreated broken arm. Being dragged away to what he thought was his death but it was much worse. He had lost everything the moment his eyes closed and forgotten it just as quickly. There are too many thoughts. Questions upon questions and no ability to find the answers. He shuts himself down seconds before hitting the floor. 

Dick wakes on the living room sofa, the cat sleeping on his chest and Jason is sitting on the floor beside them.

“You got a cat.” Jason says.

“I found her.”

“What’s her name?”

“Cat.” He responds and Jason chuckles.

“I’m sorry if- I… I missed being here, and you.”

“And me?”

He sits up straighter. “Don’t make me say it.”

“I’d like you to.”

Jason gives him a glare that Dick reads no anger in. “I missed you.” He sighs. “Great, now I’m a boy in love with a robot. Pretty sure there’s propaganda posters about this.”

Dick only catches one word, “Love?”


	5. Chapter 5

“I’d prefer if you stayed in.” Dick says, a shy smile tugging at his lips.

Jason can’t help but grin back. This is all so damn strange to him, falling for a Synthetic. How could he ever anticipate it?

He nods. “Ok, but we need to do one last supply run before the storm gets too bad.”

“Will they be alright? The humans?” There’s an actual tone of worry in his voice that makes Jason’s heart swell even more.

“We’ve been through worse with less.”

It’s freezing out. So much so that Jason can walk around bundled up and go unnoticed. Androids and Synthetics alike are in winter coats though there are a few dressed like it were spring time. Jason’s about to ask Dick how his body regulates heat but a gust of cold wind knocks the thought right out of him.

Cutting through the alleyways they find a hole in an old warehouse closed off by a dumpster. Inside a pathway leads them down to the basement. This is where Jason asks Dick to turn back much to the Synthetic’s dislike.

"They won’t trust you."

"But-"

He places a hand on Dick’s chest and looks directly at him. “Just listen to me on this.”

The drop off goes without a hitch. Jason even ends up giving them his coat, scarf, and gloves on top of everything else. He feels guilty that he’ll be above ground in a plush bed, nothing like what they have to sleep on. What he slept on last winter. He meets Dick outside by the dumpster and immediately is asked where his coat and things are.

“I guess I kinda gave it to them… They need it more than me.”

“It’s too cold out here for you.” Dick frowns and pulls off his coat handing it to Jason.

Soon he’s back to being bundled up while Dick is in a thin shirt and jeans. He thinks about arguing but instead continues on to the apartment. Halfway there he begins to notice Dick is a step or two behind him. The Synth tells him he’s keeping an eye out and not to worry. It’s when he gets to the front of the building that he realizes only his footsteps could be heard. Dick is several feet behind looking rooted to the spot.

“Dick?” He runs over. “What’s wrong?”

“I- It’s… cold.”

Jason takes his hand. “Just a few more steps and you’ll be inside.”

Looking around he sees a couple of those Synth’s from before barely wearing anything and now frozen solid. The storm is too much for them and thanks to him giving away his things Dick was in the same boat. It takes a lot of effort pushing and pulling on his part to get Dick in the building and into the apartment.

“We’ll get you in your recharge station, ok?”

Dick doesn’t seem to be paying attention to him, the soft blue glow of his eyes have faded. “Oh. …Yes.”

The Synth’s eyes are closed as Jason helps him lay down. He stares at the keypad outside the station but he has no idea what to type in.

“Is there a sequence or… Dick? Are you awake?”

He doesn’t respond and Jason feels panic start to seep into him. He nudges Dick at first then full on shakes him to wake up.

“I don’t know what to do! What if the ice melts into your circuits and you- Fuck!” He shouts and in his anger slams the glass cover of the station down.

The machine whirs into life and a few cables extend slipping into plugs on Dick’s wrists. It’s as simple as that. Jason curses under his breath and rests his forehead against the glass, looking down at the Synth.

“You’re an idiot. Or I am. Probably me. Whatever.” He sighs trying to reign in his thoughts. “Can’t believe I fell for someone who isn’t even real…”

The next morning Jason wakes on the sofa having not quite made it to his own room the night before. Partly because he was tired. Mostly because he was waiting for Dick to emerge from his room. The sofa sinks in and a pair of blue eyes are watching him. He smiles but Dick looks sad.

“Do you really think I’m not real?”

“Dick.”

“I feel things. I feel things for you that-”

Jason kisses him. This is as perfect a moment as any. Dick’s eyes widen then flutter closed, relaxing to the new found warmth of Jason’s lips.

“I know you are.” He says pulling away. “I do. It’s just…”

“You got scared.”

“Maybe. So what if I did?”

And Dick kisses him.


	6. Chapter 6

"I want to help." Dick pouts. He’s acting more and more human everyday.

"You are. I wouldn’t have gotten all of this food and supplies without you."

"I want to meet them."

Jason sighs, packing another can into the box. “It isn’t safe. They don’t trust Androids or Synths, the guards run detectors over everyone who enters.”

"But if we go together you can explain it to them. Don’t they know where all of this comes from?"

"The guy in charge explains that I have connections and that’s basically the extent of it."

"Couldn’t you talk to him about me?"

"What’s with this sudden need to meet everyone?" He raises an eyebrow.

"It… It isn’t that I dislike your company, I love it. But, I’m lonely."

Jason expression softens. “What about other Synths or Androids?”

Dick shrugs. “I’ve never connected with them all that well. They seem to take one look at me and know I’m not like them.”

Jason puts his hand on Dick’s giving it a soft squeeze. “When I go in next time I’ll talk to Bruce about you, ok?”

"…Bruce?" The name sparks something in his mind. He knows the name, he’s absolutely certain. But… how?

"He’s the leader of our group." Jason explains. "He’s kind of an ass but he looks out for everyone."

Dick nods but isn’t completely listening. Curiosity is filling his head and he doesn’t think he can wait for Jason to get back to him. He needs to know.

The night after the drop off Dick continues past his regular hiding spot and heads towards the underground tunnels. The Synthetic makes it about ten steps before a light shines so brightly into his eyes Dick’s circuiting goes into overdrive to compensate. He can’t move, body frozen but completely aware. Pain. Searing terrible agony courses through him.

And then, there’s nothing.

The room Dick finds himself in is dark with only a lantern sitting in the opposite corner. His limbs feel too heavy to move and there’s a thick collar, maybe iron, around his neck. Dick tries to focus his eyes but even that is too much effort. Warning lights flicker and fade in the corner of vision and his head hangs forward. Is he shutting down? What would happen if he did? Jason doesn’t know that he left and who knows how long it would take him to realize where he’d gone. Before Dick can think about it a booming voice echoes outside of the room.

“And when were you going to tell me you had captured a Synthetic?” There’s anger in the man’s voice.

The door opens roughly and with a flick of a switch an overhead lamp fills the room with cool green light. The man steps forward until his boots come into view but the Synth still can’t manage to look up. He watches as the man in front of him kneels down and tips his chin upward. The second their eyes meet electricity runs through him but it’s not painful like before. It’s a warm feeling.

“…I know you.” Dick says and the man’s eyes go wide.

There’s a snap and the collar falls away, then he’s pulled up onto his feet.

“Come with me.”

The man doesn’t speak much after that, leading Dick further down the hallway and into another room. It’s warmly lit and cozier, at least as much as a cement walled room with no windows can be. He’s instructed to sit which he does stumbling only once. Dick’s vitals are checked then a cable is connected to his wrist, the soothing feeling of being charged flows through him.

"Why did you come here?" He’s asked.

"I wanted… I’m lonely." Dick’s voice doesn’t sound right. It’s dry, residual pain from the shock still evident.

"This isn’t a place for your kind. If not for my intervention you would’ve become scraps."

"Jason- I know Jason. He lives with me."

"And that’s why you were not dismantled."

An hour goes by in silence as Dick rests and the man, Bruce, looks over his mechanics. The name fits with the face but the exact connection is lost somewhere in the depths of his mind. Dick wants to ask but for some reason he already knows the other won’t give him an answer.

"You’re good to go." Bruce say and unhooks the cable.

On the walk out Dick tries to wear a calm face despite the gasps and looks of anger from every human they pass. He catches sight of guards in full body armor, shock sticks hang from their hips and without realizing it he takes a step closer to Bruce. The human doesn’t say anything about it but gives a nod to the guards and a few feet ahead of them and invisible wall sparks then dissipates.

"Is that what caught me?"

Bruce nods. “It scans and identifies the visitor as human, Android or Synthetic. Alarms go off if it’s anything other than human.”

"What if they’re friendly?"

"There are no friendly-" Bruce stops. " You may be an exception but you are not allowed back here."

"Why? I help Jason get supplies."

"And it’s appreciated but non humans are not welcome, no matter the reason."

"I still have a human mind and we clearly know each other even if I can’t remember."

"That isn’t enough." For a moment Bruce’s expression softens, seeming to recall a memory he’d rather forget.

"Was I important to you?" He whispers, eyes meeting the other’s.

"You shouldn’t have left Jason on his own. He’ll be wondering where you are."

"Should I tell him?"

"Your decision, Dick." Bruce saying his name makes him stop in his tracks.

He has to know.

"What was I to you?"

Bruce puts a hand on his shoulder, guiding him out of the tunnel. “You… You were everything.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Do you know how stupid that was?” Jason says checking Dick’s vitals for the third time. “Maybe it’s cause you have a human brain and we do dumb shit from time to time but I’d really think you’d have more fucking sense than that.”

“I don’t like being told what I can and can’t do." He says. "I think it might be a trait of mine, something they couldn’t erase.”

Jason stops fussing over him instantly, looking the synthetic in the eyes. Dick can see worry in them but also a spark of hope.

“You remember it? The memory wipe?”

“I’ve had dreams- nightmares. I don’t remember much when I wake up.”

“What do you remember?” Jason asks still loosely holding his hands.

“Pain.” Dick looks ready to cry but they both know it's impossible.

The synthetic is struggling with so many emotions it’s overwhelming them both. Jason sits down beside Dick and pulls him into a hug. He’s not sure what to say to comfort him. Dick never wanted to be like this, he was like Jason fighting every second to remain human. To take all the awful and amazing things that come with it. Not to be kept in some purgatory made of metal with faint memories of when life was special.

“Jason… You’re crying.” Dick’s voice is soft, not filled with worry but appreciation. As though thanking him for allowing Dick to cry through him.

It’s not enough. Dick deserves his life back but sadly it isn’t possible. Reversal attempts have been made but he doesn’t know of a single one that successful. In truth, Jason thinks, Dick’s life probably would’ve been better if he had never climbed through his window.

“If your mind had gears I’d tell them to slow down before they overheat.” Dick smiles.

Jason sighs and lets the tension drop from his shoulders. “You should’ve brought me with you.”

“You would’ve tried to talk me out of it.” He says. “Anyway, it all worked out.”

“Cause Bruce saved you.”

Dick gives a little nod. “I… I’d like to talk to him again.”

“What for? He’s not the most friendly person.”

“Neither were you.” He replies and Jason chuckles.

“Well either way Bruce won’t leave the group and you’re not allowed back there.”

“I’m not afraid of going back.”

“Of course you’re not.” Jason rolls his eyes.

Eventually they settle down laying beside one another, the new addition to the apartment, a cat, curled up between them against Jason’s chest. Dick has still yet to name the animal but neither seem to care. Jason tries to relax, focus on the warmth of Dick’s hand on his waist. Lets his mind wander back to he stayed here, how terrified he was. That if Jason himself had any sense he would’ve ran the minute he saw Dick. But he didn’t. He stayed the night and the next, until a week had passed and he slept an entire night without once waking up in fear.

Now he was laying right next to him wanting a kiss or maybe just to tell the synthetic that he loved him. It scared him. All of this did.

“Jason, your heart’s beating too quickly. Breathe.” Dick says softly, running his hand up Jason’s side.

“Quit it.”

“What?”

“Scanning me.” He says. “Stop that.”

“I get worried. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“There isn’t anything to tell.” Jason huffs. “I’m fine.”

“But you’re not.”

Jason opens his eyes and narrows them at Dick. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

The worry on the synthetic’s face makes his chest ache. He scritches the cat’s ears watching as it rolls onto it’s back, stretching out. Dick lets out a laugh and grazes his fingers over the small animals stomach, receiving playful bites in return.

“I think I love you.” Jason whispers.

“I figured.”

He blinks. “What?”

“You sometimes speak in your sleep.” Dick smiles and Jason’s eyes go wide.

“I love you, as well.” The synthetic adds. “If you were curious.”

He sighs. “This isn’t how…”

“You worry too much.”

“One tends to do that when your life is at constant risk.”

“Then why don’t you want to talk about-”

“No!” He shouts, making both the cat and Dick startle. “Look, it’s my business and it’s under control. Ok?”

Dick pushes on. “Did you get captured?”

Jason rolls onto his back and stares at the ceiling, briefly imagining it all crumpling down onto them. Controllers breaking through the window to transform him and wipe his mind. What would they do to Dick? Dismantle him completely? Wipe his mind again and make sure it stays?

“I killed one of them. A Controller. They rounded on this group of kids and I knew I didn’t stand a fucking chance but I could be a distraction. I did what I had to. They grabbed me but Bruce followed.” He shuts his eyes and takes a breath. “They decided to change me piece by piece, starting with the heart. I think they were just planning to fuck with me until my body gave out but Bruce showed up.”

Dick moves closer bringing Jason into his arms despite the cat’s protests, it hops over Jason making a spot above their heads. He kisses Jason’s cheek and rests his head against the other’s. Jason feels oddly hollow but slightly relieved as they lay together in silence. No one’s crashing through the windows and the ceiling hasn’t caved in. There’s still fear in what this makes him and all he wants is to ignore it completely but he can’t. They both know what’s going to happen if he does.


End file.
